dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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