i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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