It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
