I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
