youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We left the knife in your bed.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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