I just gift wrapped bread.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
