forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
