you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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