Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
