New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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