the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
