just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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