I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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