Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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