Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
