Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
