theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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