went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
