we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
