you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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