I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
