He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
