I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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