can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize