Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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