I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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