thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
