my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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