I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you would pick up someone in the library
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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