Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
