I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
