Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
