i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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