hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
