Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
