you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
