Your face is a jimmy john
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
