thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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