Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
