he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
