you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
