You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
