I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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