My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize