i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
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