Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize