He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
