no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
