so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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