there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize