i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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