...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
