You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
