I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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