She is in my trunk
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
