I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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