Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I got her a Nickelback box set.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
