this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
