woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize